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In Memory and Honor of Grace E. Smith 1992~2013
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The Womb

11/22/2013

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PictureWith joy and expectation of what is to come!
“Death is like the horizon. It is only as far as the human eye can see.” This was one quote the chaplain used Saturday during the Community Hospice Memorial Service honoring all the loved ones under their care who have transitioned from this life into the next. I liked the quote immediately and deeply. It is a beautiful expression of hope and understanding of the world that lies beyond our natural sight. 

Not long ago as I was laying my heavy heart bare before my Father, He spoke gently and sweetly into my ache and lifted a bit of the stifling grief out of my chest. This is what He showed me. 

The fetus inside his mother’s womb experiences the glory of where he is. All his needs are met instantaneously. He is always warm and “held” by his mother. The beat of his heart is returned to him by the steady, solid and loud echo from his mother’s heart. Intimacy, connection, nurturing, oneness…the essence of what we value most in life is formed and created in the existence and containment of the womb. The fetus inside this atmosphere of life, love and being would never leave this “home” if he didn’t have to. If he understood what was about to happen during transition he would be horrified! With great pain and sorrow he is born into this world. But we who have experienced this “birth” rejoice! We know the sorrow of transition is for but a season. The joy and glory of being born far outweighs the pain and ache of child birth. Soon, both mother and child would agree! Neither would long to go back to life before birth. Who, after tasting the wonder of this life, would crawl back into his mother’s womb? We do not cry for the child being born, even if it is with great pain, but rather rejoice because we know and have experienced the glory outside the womb. 

If I can see the immeasurable difference of the weight of glory going from fetus to infant, how much more glorious is our transition from the womb of this earth to heaven? “But Grace was so young, Father. There was so much she didn’t get to experience. Our time was cut short”, my bleeding heart sighs and cries. But God the Father is tender and patient. He continues to show me and explain. As I remain in the womb of this earth, I can not hear what is on the other side. I am encapsulated by the boundaries of this natural world. I can not know how Grace, if she could see us, would be saying, “Why are you crying for me?? Don’t you know it is far better here? The dark existence on earth is nothing compared with the glory and light of being here!” “Do you not understand your “home” is cramped, dark and constrictive?”

What fetus would long for one more day inside his “home” if he knew the glory, wonder and light that awaited him on the other side? What I am coming to see more clearly and with greater understanding is Grace is living more alive, more joyful and with more earth shattering wisdom than I can possibly imagine. Why go back, long or weep for the womb of this earth when the glory of truly living and Home is beckoning?

Death, like natural child birth, comes with tears, pain and sorrow. But the sorrow lasts for only a short season. Death does not mean life is over. Death is only the transition from the womb of this world into what can be called truly living for those who call Him Father! On the other side of the horizon no one is weeping or shedding sorrowful tears, only rejoicing for the life that has been “born”.

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Dark Tomorrow

11/10/2013

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Picture"For now it shall remain, Dark Tomorrow!"
The sunny day is perfect for playing near the water. You have your picnic basket in one hand as you skip stones across the peaceful lake with the other. All is right with the world and you praise God. You look around and your heart easily soaks and pleasures in thankfulness for all His blessings and goodness toward you and all those you love. “Blessed be the name of the Lord!”


The next moment your world is turned upside down and spread apart. As you work to right yourself and clear your head, you realize you are drowning, bobbing up and down in the churning and turning lonely stars and treading aimlessly within the vast expanse of the dying galaxies. Day has abruptly turned into icy night and no matter where you look there is nothing recognizable or tangible. There is nothing to help you gain perspective, nothing to reveal true north.  You are lost. You are cold.  You know you are alive only by the deep ache inside your heart at the loss of everything you had and knew.

When your feet lose traction, your hand loses grip and you are unable to change course or direction, there are no words to describe the helplessness and devastation that wants to consume your soul. The question arises,”What now?”

“What now?”, when the present of here and now can’t be tied up all pretty with a giant bow like the tidiness of a half hour sitcom? “What now?”, when it’s been shaken down to the drawing board and you find the drawing board is empty and there are no other solutions or viable outcomes? “What now?”, when I look to the days ahead and all I see is night  and affliction? Do my hands hang feebly and weak by my sides in anger, frustration or bewilderment? Or do I gather strength and raise them to the One who is still worthy to be praised? Do I find my will and offer it freely with thanksgiving from my heart to the One who still holds me and my entire world, both day and night, in His hand?

I am not made by my circumstances. Who I am is revealed through my response to my circumstances. Is praise found in my heart and on my lips when it is sunny and bright and the world is spinning the way I want?  When the night time and chill of winter comes and the voices of the creatures that love the dark echo in my ears, what will be my response?

This song is dedicated to all who have endured the dark season of the night and wait with patience for the joy of sunrise. We do not wish foolishly for the hurrying of the morning sun and all its warmth but rather ask for the strength to endure with faith through the cold of the night in all its glory. “Blessed be the name of the Lord!”  

Dark Tomorrow

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

Song written by Eric and Laura Smith

Dark Tomorrow
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Glorious Fields

11/3/2013

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PictureNo Greater Love That a Man Would Lay His Life Down
Sometimes change comes fast like lightening. You weren’t expecting it. But it hits you out of the blue and you are left quaking in your skin. You know you are forever changed into the person you’d rather be.

 “Take my hand and lead me through….. glorious fields to be with You…… I am Yours.”  Powerful lyrics! Beautiful song! (Heather Clark- Undivided Focus)  What has cut me to the core and changed my mind and existence is what a young dear heart shared with me about a week ago. She sat me down and expressed her feelings about “Glorious Fields”. In an instant, I was undone in the presence of my King.

You see, what I am visualizing, as I am singing these profound lyrics, is the Father leading me through fields imagined by a romantic lover. The sky is a golden purple haze. The flowers are dazzling in vibrant and soft colors of purple, yellow, pink and white as they dance in the cool summer breeze. The air is full and heady with pungently sweet fragrance. And my Lover and I are walking hand in hand as He smiles at me and we enjoy each other’s company. The green hills roll before us and there is no other place I’d rather be.  

The words this young, dear friend shared with me, slaps me out of my revelry and forces me to awaken to a deeper and more profound awareness. I am humbled by her sight. More than humbled I am grateful. She simply and gently says, “You know Laura, some battlefields are called ‘Glorious’.” And just that quickly I know Truth has pierced my heart and a part of me has been set free. I weep for the joy and understanding that overwhelms me. Yes, battlefields are glorious. Battlefields are fraught with the blood, sweat and tears of our hopes, dreams, crowning victories and devastating losses. I realize with sharp clarity the folly of my first imagined “glorious fields”. How shallow and unrealistic of me. It seems most of our lives are lived on the battlefield. The last year and half has been the most intense battle of my life so it seems.  When I view in retrospect the past few days, weeks, months, I know I stand in the middle of a great battlefield. When I survey my bloody wounds and healing scars and see the charred ground around me, I know I stand in the middle of a battlefield. But when I look to see Who holds my hand, and all the friends that stand beside me, I say with surety, where I am is glorious. With newly defined understanding and focus I say, “This battlefield is Glorious!”

I believe my Father wants to walk with me through fields of dancing flowers and whisper Lover’s words into my yearning heart and I also believe He wants to stand with me on the burning and tumultuous battlefield and teach me how to fight as He speaks instructions into my weary and bleeding heart. In the end it is not about the “field” that determines the glory. It is all about who holds your hand and walks with you and Who leads you through.

Thank you to all who hold my hand and walk with me.  Some days we will walk together beside the still waters and know peace.  Other nights we will walk through the valley of the shadow of death and we will know peace. No matter where we walk, our wake proclaims as much as the ground that lies before us proclaim, “Glorious Fields”! For He is leading our way and as we look to the left and to the right we know, we are never alone.

Helen Victoria Cason, Upright Warrior and True of Heart, this post is dedicated to you.

Undivided Focus/Heather Clark
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    Laura G. Smith

    Trying to understand what can not be explained.

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