Day of Grace
In Memory and Honor of Grace E. Smith 1992~2013
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To Wait....Patiently

1/24/2013

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As some of you are aware, Grace has been weak in her body since the fourth round of chemo. She has been in much pain and has had very little appetite. And she just seemed drained of all energy. You know she feels down in her body when she is at home in bed of her own choice. Last week she spent a couple of days in the hospital because of fever and just her “run down” state.During all of this, Grace and I have had the opportunity to spend a lot of time together and talk. I thought I would share one of her insights. Hopefully you will be as inspired as I was!!

 I told her one afternoon, as we were driving home from the doctor’s office, I was tired of all of this and was not doing well with it. And I asked, “How are you handling all of this?” Her response was, “I’m doing good!”, with that big ‘ole beautiful smile of hers. So, I asked her to explain to me how she was able to be doing so well and able to keep such a positive attitude all the time.

 Her response, “Of course I’m ready for all of this to be over. I was ready months ago. But, I am just having to be patient. I am not worried about whether or not I will be healed. I know that I will. My body is just not there yet. I am not trying to convince myself. I know that I know that I know that I’m going to be healed. When I think that I’m tired of this and ready for it to be over. That is just me being selfish. So, I’m patient. God has a reason for the wait. “

 I could have pulled the car over and wept!! And rejoiced!! Grace’s mindset from the very beginning has not been a “victim” mindset but a “victor” mindset! She was right when she proclaimed from the very beginning…” Dear Cancer, We Win, Game Over!!”

Her sixth round of chemo is Monday, January 28. This week, thankfully, she has been feeling much stronger in her body. She hasn’t experienced any pain and is eating much better. This week her soul and body are prospering and being prepared for the next round of chemo and the next few weeks ahead of her. Her spirit continues to remain ever faithful and strong!

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To Be Weighed and Measured

1/14/2013

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Grace has gone from 165 lbs to 105 lbs in less than 7 months. She stands up and her hip bones protrude. She lays in her bed and as the covers fall across her body you barely notice more than just a wrinkle. For Christmas her dad and I bought size 0 skinny jeans for her. It is a horrible, wicked sight to watch your child’s body wither away before your very eyes. As a mother, it is really unbearable….

But, Grace is more than just a body and while for a season her body withers, her spirit gains substance and there is remarkable “weight” to her. In that sight, I can not chose pity, fear or doubt. I choose to stand beside her as more than a mother. I stand with her as a faith filled warrior. We, as His sons, are command by Him to see those things which can not be seen. I look beyond her body and I see her spirit!! And there is nothing small or weak or withering about Grace’s spirit! There is a huge fire within Grace’s spirit and it is invading her body- every second of every day. The cancerous tumors have no choice but to be consumed!! Praise be to our God!!

“Looks like a girl but she’s a flame. So bright, she can burn your eyes. Better look the other way. You can try, but you will never forget her name. She’s on top of the world!”

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    Laura G. Smith

    Trying to understand what can not be explained.

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