Day of Grace
In Memory and Honor of Grace E. Smith 1992~2013
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To See Like Grace

4/24/2013

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PictureBeauty to Behold
I could continuously say thank you for days and days but never say thank you enough to cover all the goodness and kindness we have experienced from this community, our family, friends and communities beyond! Eric and I are grateful beyond measure! Thank YOU!!

And, I could boast of Grace for days on end and never say all she is! …Grace continues to struggle for life but she is fighting so well. She still exudes nothing but grace, peace and confidence in her faith and in her God. It is humbling and inspiring to watch her faith in action! She is not lying in her bed, moaning and groaning, expecting God just to hand her a miracle. She is doing her part, even to her own hurt. She continues to throw-up but tries to drink and eat what she can, although it is very little. Certainly, it is not enough to sustain life. But, knowing the pain and nausea eating or drinking will cause, she still continues to do her part with a smile on her face and over-whelming kindness in her heart. Simply amazing!

She knows the tumors continue to grow, so much that she looks like she’s a few months pregnant but she is anchored in the fact she knows she will be healed. As I talked to her yesterday and told her how much I know her Heavenly Father is proud of her, how I know He is looking at her with a smile on His face because of her faith, tears streamed down my face. She asked, “Why are you crying Mama?” That is a very good question. I am overwhelmed with the love of my daughter, how proud I am of her, how pitiful her body looks but how strong her faith is. I have talked to my Father and confessed my weakness of not understanding her pain and suffering and wanting to be frustrated. But in an instant, when I thought of Grace and the goodness and love for her Father (with never and complaint or frustration in her heart or on her lips) I had to repent and simply ask, “Father, let me see like Grace sees!” And to His nature, His goodness shone down on me and I was lifted up in praise to the One who created Grace and loves her more than Eric or I possibly could. Sometimes it’s easy to inspire the ones who do not live with you. The ones who do not see the good, bad and ugly of behind closed doors. But let me be the first one to say, from one who lives with Grace and watches her constantly, she inspires me!

I talked with Grace Monday about her fight to live and where it comes from. The last thing I want is for her to be fighting for me or Eric. But she assured me she is fighting for her life because that is what is in her heart to do. She believes she has purpose here on this Earth yet to be fulfilled. Yesterday, she caught my arm as she teetered between waking and sleep, with groggy eyes she said, “For my 21st birthday I want me and a group of my friends to go to Panama City Beach!” I told her that sounded like a fun trip, sorry I was not invited! She mentioned it again before the night was over. While Grace sees the declining condition of her natural body, (she confessed in the wee hours of the morning after several bouts of throwing up and hurting that she knew her physical body was wearing out), she continues to believe she will be healed. We continue to stand with her! Thank you all for your continued prayers and constant expectation for what is to come! We do not live by what our natural eye sees but by the proceeding Word of God! God Bless You!

(What I received yesterday- Grace’s life is not being stolen by the Enemy. Grace is being held in the palm of her Father. She placed herself in God’s hand. She has given her life to Him. She is not in the hand of the Enemy. Her life is not taken, it is given. What the Father chooses to do with her is between Him and Grace. Grace does not belong to me and Eric. We are just His stewards. She belongs to Him. Our hearts have to remain at peace with what He chooses. If He holds her close and He chooses not release her and carry her on to be with Him, we will rejoice. If He holds her close and chooses to release her back to us, we will rejoice! To God be the Glory!)

Never the less, the preceding Word of God we keep hearing is, “Live, little Girl, LIVE!”


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Character Revealed

4/22/2013

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PictureAlways a Smile
Because it would evoke more tears than prayers, I will not post Grace’s picture at this time. It saddens my heart to report she continues to lose weight. She is working hard to eat, but sometimes she just can’t keep what little she eats down. Suffice it to say you can count every single bone in her body. The only part of her body that continues to grow is her abdomen. Her belly remains extended and swollen.

Now, for the good stuff! While her body continues to suffer, her spirit and her soul are at complete rest and peace. She remains steadfast in her faith and love of her God. She told me this morning her love of her Father has only grown since this journey began over 10 months ago. The saying goes, “Trials and tribulations do not create or build character, it only reveals the character already present.” Well, I will be the first to say as I look into the face of my daughter and see the character of her heart, I know I am looking into Heaven and I am undone! She is such a warrior! When most people her age are concerned with college, clothes and boyfriends, she is making decisions about DNR’s and living wills. But, she remains unfazed in her surety of her miracle of healing and she is not moved.

Eric and I continue to stand with her in faith. For we know that soon either her spirit will burst out of its mortal shell and she will be forever changed or the miraculous of Heaven will be birthed here on this Earth through her and she will be forever changed! Eric and I believe for the latter. We have been given the word of the Lord and on His word we continue to stand. He told us from the very beginning, “I’ve got this. Do not worry!” So, we do not look at the things which can be seen, but at the things which are not seen. Eric and I are in great expectation; we are on pins and needles and can hardly sleep, for we know her time is near! We are in anticipation and hope for what is about to happen!

I will finish up with this. I have often found it curious that Stephen, of the New Testament, saw the “Son of Man standing at the right hand of God” as he was being stoned. Most scriptures talk of Jesus being, “seated at the right hand of God” not standing. But as I was praying for Grace this morning I too saw Jesus standing. And I was reminded of what He shared with me years ago about this portion of scripture. When a parent is watching His child on the field playing, what is the first thing that happens when that child is hurt or is about to make a brilliant play? Immediately, the parent is on his feet. He is standing ready to jump into action the very second he is needed. Whether it is to help and protect or to cheer on. He is on his feet with love, concern and compassion. Well, this morning I see Jesus on His feet as He beholds His daughter, Grace. I am comforted to know Eric and I are not alone in standing. He is also standing. And I thank all of you who are standing with us! God Bless!


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Deadline??

4/12/2013

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PictureGrace Toasting to the Good TImes Ahead
Wednesday a Transitional Oncologist Nurse came to our home for a visit with Grace, being that she is not taking chemo at this time, just to check in with Grace to insure all is well with her. We had a wonderful visit. During her time with us, she asked Grace if there was anything in particular she wanted to do. She understood that Grace is expecting her miracle but wondered if she never felt released to get chemo and things continued to progress negatively, what was one wish she may have. Grace tilted her head sideways and looked up and thought a minute and said, “Hhmmmm…..I don’t really know because I haven’t given it much thought”. Then she said with a smile, “I keep forgetting I’m on a deadline!” We all busted out laughing with her.

She said she wanted to go to a concert. The lady talked about Jason Aldean and of course Grace said she would love to see him.
The day didn’t pass before the very sweet nurse, Samantha Barr, called us to let us know she had procured 4 tickets to the Jason Aldean concert this Saturday in Athens. She said a limo was coming to pick Grace and her friends up and drop them off, with an overnight stay included. How awesome is that?? God sure is good!!

Grace’s belly was really extended Wednesday, but her pain has become more manageable. (Every time she needs relief she asks us to pray for her. And without fail, EVERY TIME within minutes, her pain subsides!) She asked God again Wednesday, as she looked down at her swollen belly, if it was time for chemo. His response was the same as before, “Wait. “ So she is continuing to be patient in the process but with active faith and works. (She has seen her belly shrink since Wednesday evening). Tammy is still coming by every day to lay hands on her, anoint her and pray over her. Grace is loving their time together and looks forward to this time every day. She said she would not leave tomorrow until Tammy had come by and prayed for her!!

If you think about Grace tomorrow, please thank God for His faithfulness and power and ever sustaining grace that continues to flow to our Grace. May she enjoy every second of tomorrow and be pain and nausea free as she and her friends travel to Athens for a good time!! Grace is battling hard, but she continues to battle well!!


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Phenomenon

4/9/2013

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Phenomenon: : an exceptional, unusual, or abnormal person, thing, or occurrence

I am sure you have read Grace’s post as we journeyed home from Texas last Thursday/Friday. In her post she related the doctor told her if the chemo doesn’t work and the tumors continue to grow at the present growth rate, she would have approximately 6 to 8 weeks before the tumors take her life.

Well, when Grace said she wasn’t worried that wasn’t just inspiring words on a screen…. She meant it with her whole heart. After praying about the treatment plan over the weekend, she heard God tell her, “Wait on chemo.” So, she has. She was to start chemo yesterday but instead she has asked for prayer. Our wonderful sister in the Lord, Tammy Cason, is coming by our home to lay hands on her, anoint her with oil and pray over her. Grace was excited by the results which eased her pain tremendously for hours after Tammy left.

This is not a picture of one who has given up or given in. This is the picture of a true warrior who is holding her ground. This decision to wait was not an easy decision. When she found out chemo was available and she could get back on it so soon, she was looking forward to it just to ease her pain. So, she has not taken the easy way but she has chosen God’s way, which makes it the right way.

Needless to say, she is battling hard!! She remains in constant pain and is throwing up since Sunday. But she remains resolute in her faith and is not wearied in the process. I tell her constantly she is a PHENOMENON!! Where most would be clawing with desperation for chemo in the face at what is at stake, she looked at the situation and said…”Watch this!! I’m not even going to take chemo until my Lord releases me to do so!!”

I apologize for the lengthy update, but wanted to give the whole picture. Grace has asked for prayer and she needs it. She is battling so hard but I can honestly say she is battling WELL!!

(One quick excerpt from our conversation yesterday at the doctor’s office: After telling the doctor her plans to wait. In the face of the reality of her not feeling well at all…hurting and exhausted and throwing up and feeling nauseated all the time, I asked, “Grace, is there any place in you that is afraid? Are you fearful at all?” Her response, “Fearful about what?” At that moment I knew there was no fear in her but only faith. But I said, “Fearful about this not working, fearful about your pain, fearful about dying?” She looked over at me with this incredulous look on her face and simply said, “Pshhmf, uh, no!” Like I stated earlier, PHENOMENON!! God knows I love that girl!!)

Status Update By Gracie Smith
I was suppose to get chemo yesterday… But I heard The Lord say “wait on chemo” so we talk to my doctor about it and he fully supported my decision… But please keep me in you’re prayers! I’m battling hard.. Hurting all day, throwing up anything I eat… I feel like this is the hardest battle I have encountered this whole journey… But I’m still in Faith that I’m beating this! I’m just asking for prayer. Thank you everyone that is fighting with me!

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    Laura G. Smith

    Trying to understand what can not be explained.

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